


needless conversation but who's to say we don't want it?

by whichlights



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Feelings, Flowers, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Getting Together, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Other, Pining, loki is an asshole, nat is nonbinary and uses she/they pronouns, pineapple pizza discourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 01:10:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13753086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/pseuds/whichlights
Summary: “You’re an asshole,” Nat muttered.“So I’ve often been told. Luckily for you, I’m a benevolent asshole. I’m going to help you.”She looked at Loki, god of mischief, trickery and lies. “Help me what?”“Get a date with Barton.”





	needless conversation but who's to say we don't want it?

Natasha was raised and trained to be a cold, unfeeling assassin. Getting feelings was not in her protocol. She didn’t have any. 

Her relationship with Barton was  _ strictly _ professional/platonic. 

“You’re hopeless,” Loki singsonged as she waved goodbye to Clint. Natasha glared at him. 

“Don’t you have a girlfriend to go bug? Verity?” She asked. 

Loki fell off of his perch on the couch. “Verity is  _ not  _ my girlfriend!” He insisted as Nat walked away, smirking. 

\---

Nat and Clint were close. They were best friends, partners, and most importantly, united in the fact that pineapple pizza was a crime against humanity. 

That came up when the team was ordering pizza, and Nat was appalled by their teammates. 

Tony and Steve were, for once, on the same side, but they were on the side of pineapple pizza, so Natasha couldn’t rejoice in the fact. Sam had sided with Steve, with Bucky on Nat and Clint’s side. Thor was happy to try anything, but joined the anti-pineapple team on the basis of “it was an uneven match.” Bruce was talking about Swedish banana pizza, and Nat was frankly horrified. 

“Can’t we all just agree to disagree?” Thor tried, always the diplomat. 

“Thor, they want to put  _ pineapple  _ on  _ pizza _ ,” Clint insisted. 

Nat backed him up. “Fruit doesn’t belong on pizza.”

“Tomato is a fruit,” Tony pointed out.

“You know what I mean!”

Thor held up his hands. “Please just don’t get into a fist fight.”

From her perch on the counter, Loki booed. “No! This is exciting! Fight fight fight!”

“Don’t suppose you want to take a side?” Nat sighed. 

Loki just gave them a grin. “I don’t do sides.”

The argument continued for half an hour, with Sam and Bucky getting into a minor scuffle, and in the end, no consensus was reached. Thor took one for the team and ordered Chinese takeout instead of pizza. 

After the argument, Nat was sitting alone, eating their beef and broccoli, when Loki popped up. 

“You and Barton are really in sync, huh?” She said, leaning on the arm of the couch. “Do you agree on everything?”

“No. Why do you care, anyways?”

“I live here too. Really, it’s just sad.”

“I’m sure Tony would appreciate your presence more than me right now.” Nat grinned as Loki’s face went red. Worked every time. 

“Tony is  _ not  _ my boyfriend!” Loki said, crossing her arms. 

Nat shooed her off, and continued eating their food. 

\---

“Alright, you’re pining.”

Natasha looked over at Loki. “I’m sorry?”

Loki crossed his arms. “You’re pining,” he said simply. 

Nat blinked. “Barton and I’s relationship is  _ strictly  _ platonic-”

“I never said you were pining for Barton,” Loki smirked. “You jumped to that conclusion on your own. Hence, you know you have enough behaviors around Barton to make someone assume you’re pining for him. Which you are.”

“Don’t you-” They started, but Loki shushed them, holding a finger against Nat’s lips. 

“That’s not going to work this time,” Loki said. “I’m single, as you damn well know. And so are you, but unlike me, you are  _ hopelessly  _ pining for that Egg Carton boy.”

“You’re an asshole,” Nat muttered. 

“So I’ve often been told. Luckily for you, I’m a benevolent asshole. I’m going to help you.”

She looked at Loki, god of mischief, trickery and lies. “Help me what?”

“Get a date with Barton.”

Nat just started laughing. “Why? Why the hell would you do that?”

“Because your sad pining is making me sad. Also, nonbinary solidarity?”

Nat regretted ever coming out to Loki. “You and Clint don’t even like each other. I’m not even sure  _ I  _ like you.”

“More reason to help.”

“You’re bored,” Natasha realized. “You think muddling in my love life will be fun.”

“Won’t it?”

“You’re an asshole,” she repeated, and left. 

\---

“Our less-than-friendly neighborhood Asgardian said you wanted to see me?” Clint said, tapping on Nat’s door. 

Nat looked up from her book. “I never said that.”

Clint sighed. “So it’s just them being an asshole, as usual.”

“Yah,” Nat agreed. Clint sat down next to them. For the first time, Nat felt a little awkward about it. Nah, Loki was just bored and a jerk, there was no way Nat was  _ pining _ . 

Clint had very nice eyes, they noticed. 

_ No, go away _ , Nat willed those emotions.  _ Go away, I don’t have feelings. _

They talked about nothing in particular, just enjoying each other’s company, and Natasha realized Loki might be onto something. That was terrifying.

\---

“Alright,” Nat grumbled, crossing her arms. “If-  _ if  _ -I agreed with you that maybe-  _ maybe  _ -I think of Clint as more than a friend, you would help me actually tell him?”

Loki spread out their hands, grinning. “Have you  _ ever  _ known me to be anything but helpful?”

“Yes,” Nat deadpanned. She had no time for their games. “Now what the hell do you know about love? You’ve been pining for Bucky for ages.”

“For the love of all the gods- I’m not pining for  _ Bucky _ , fuck you. At this point I think you’re just saying random names to annoy me.”

Nat just grinned, not confirming or denying. “My point stands. What do you know about relationships?”

“More than you would think,” they said. 

“Fine. You want to help?”

“I already tried? You and Barton just need to get alone and talk. I can make the place as dramatic and romantic as possible if that’s what you want, but really it comes down to you.”

Nat shook their head. “No way. Absolutely not. Not at all. Not unless I know he feels the same.”

“Makes my job a little more challenging, but  _ fine _ .”

\---

“Uh, I’ve got flowers for an Egg Carton, at this address?” The delivery man at the door squinted at the order, as if to make sure he read it right. 

Nat watched carefully as Clint carefully stood up. He  _ was  _ the only one whose name even resembled “carton”. “Those must be for me?” He said. 

The delivery man handed over the flowers, a bouquet of roses. Clint seemed confused. “Who are they from?” Steve asked. 

“Doesn’t say,” Clint frowned. He looked at Natasha. “Do you know?”

“No,” Nat lied expertly. 

“Oh.” He seemed disappointed. 

From behind Nat, on her usual perch on the counter, Loki coughed. Nat resisted the urge to glare at her. 

“What was that about?” She asked when they were alone. 

Loki grinned. “He was disappointed when you said you hadn’t sent them. He wanted them to be from you. He doesn’t want a secret admirer, he wants you!”

“That’s dumb. He probably just thinks it was a prank. They were addressed to  _ Egg Carton _ .”

“Hmmph.” Loki crossed her arms. “Either way, we can play up the secret admirer thing. Then, if you want, you can claim yourself as the secret admirer.”

Nat just stared at her.

“Fine, fine, don’t praise my genius,” Loki muttered.

“Oh, go bug Pepper, lovergirl.”

“Really? Pepper? Well, at least you’re creative.”

\---

“There’s no way I’m asking him out,” Nat said firmly.

Loki threw his hands into the air. “For the love of- look, you’re best friends, right? He shouldn’t find anything weird with going to the movies with a friend. It’s not a date.”

“That makes it worse! I want it to be! God, you  _ suck  _ at this.”

Loki crossed his arms, pouting. “I’m doing my best, here. You’re ignoring, like,  _ all  _ of my advice.”

“Because it’s rubbish.”

“Rubbish,” Loki mused. “I like that word. Not to describe my  _ excellent  _ dating advice, of course, but-”

“If you’re so great at romance, why don’t you just go ask out Steve?” Nat stuck out her tongue at him.

“Steve? Seriously? I have standards, you know.” Loki stuck out his tongue right back at them. “Anyways, I’m busy helping  _ you _ . By the Nine, you need it.”

“I’m a trained assassin, spy, agent-”

“Yet you can’t ask out one guy.”

“It’s not exactly something I have experience with!”

Loki nodded in understanding. “No attachments.”

“No attachments,” Nat whispered back. “I’m no good at… feelings.”

“Neither am I,” Loki admitted. “I’m just bored.”

“Knew it,” Nat muttered under their breath. 

“One movie?” Loki tried. 

Nat sighed. “I’ll ask him to  _ one movie _ .”

\---

The movie went really well. Nat felt like she was in a cheesy romcom, because she and Clint had reached for the popcorn at the same time and brushed hands. It was… slightly less awkward than she’d feared. Nice, actually. 

Not that she was going to tell Loki. They would be  _ insufferably  _ smug about it. 

Loki was tossing darts at a board with Thor when Nat found them. Loki grinned at them. “Care to play?”

“I’m winning,” Thor said. 

“Not for long,” Loki said, and proceeded to very badly throw a dart. It hit and stuck in the wall. “Anyways, what brings you here, Nat?”

“I was looking for you, actually.” They admitted. 

“Now there’s a first.”

“Loki,” Thor said excitedly. “Have you made a  _ friend _ ?”

“I have friends!” Loki argued. 

“Name three.”

“Verity, Peter, you,” they rattled off. “Nat and I aren’t friends.”

“Frenemies,” Nat agreed. 

Thor rolled his eyes. “Loki’s been giving you relationship advice, right?”

Nat glared at them. “Really?”

“He doesn’t know who.”

“Clint, right?” Thor asked. 

“I stand corrected.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Natasha,” Thor promised. “But do you want some courtship advice from me?”

“Can’t be worse than Loki’s.” Nat shrugged. “Sure.”

“Woo him with flowers and weapons.”

“What.”

“Men love flowers and weapons!”

“Okay, somehow your advice is worse than Loki’s.”

Thor looked hurt. Loki was laughing at him. 

\---

Natasha was desperate. So they tried Thor’s advice.

“Would  _ someone  _ like to explain why my room is covered in dandelions and knives?” Clint demanded the next morning at breakfast. 

Nat tried to act casual, and even refrained from giving Thor a glare. In her defense, dandelions were everywhere, and she was on a budget. And she had a  _ lot  _ of knives to spare. Okay, it was weird, she’d admit it. But she had to try  _ something _ . 

When no one offered an explanation, Clint just sighed and took his usual spot at the breakfast table next to Nat. She offered him half a bagel, and he took it, even though he didn’t like bagels. 

It was a reminder of how close they were. They were, and always had been, best friends. Natasha didn’t want to-  _ couldn’t _ -mess that up. 

Stupid feelings.

\---

“So, seems the flowers and weapons were a bust,” Loki said leaning across the couch towards Nat. 

Nat just rolled their eyes. “Oh, please, what are you going to suggest? Chocolate and poison?”

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.”

Nat just sighed and leaned back. Loki tilted his head at her. “Why so blue?”

“I don’t want to break our friendship,” Nat said. “I’m bad feelings, and I'm bad at making friends, too.”

“You have your team. They’re your friends.” Loki wasn’t including himself, but he sounded wistful when he said  _ friends _ . 

“Yes,” Nat agreed. “But Clint and I are special. Best friends. Have been for years.”

Loki nodded. “You can’t lose him if it goes wrong.”

“Yah,” Nat sighed again. 

“If you’re as good of friends as you say you are, I think you’ll be okay.”

“I think you’re right. I’m just a coward.”

“Now you’re just a liar.”

\---

“Clint, can I talk to you?” Natasha said, standing perfectly still.

Clint nodded. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been talking to Loki a lot recently,” Nat admitted. “She’s been helping me with some, uh… feelings.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Loki? Seriously? I thought you had better taste than that. I’ll support you, but-”

“Dummy, I’m not in love with Loki, I’m in love with  _ you _ ,” she blurted. 

Clint blinked. “You…”

“Yah.”

“You like me?”

“I believe I said  _ love _ .” Nat was not blushing. They didn’t blush. “I think. I could never really…  _ be  _ in love before, not platonically, not romantically, but I love you. I love you anyways. In any way you can love a person.”

“Holy shit. I… can I kiss you?” 

“What?” Kissing was what you did when love was  _ reciprocated _ . “Holy shit.”

Clint laughed, holding her hand and leaning closer. “I think we just tripped and fell into a relationship.”

“Yah. I’d like that kiss now.”

He obliged. 

\---

“I’d like to say thank you,” Nat said. “Your advice was kind of awful, but I eventually got it right.”

Loki shrugged. “I do what I can.”

“Did you have fun playing matchmaker?”

“Yes, but I don’t think it’s my calling. Hope you and Carton have a long, happy life together. Adopt lots of dogs, name them all after me.”

Nat shook their head. “You’re ridiculous.”

Loki turned to leave the room, and Nat called after them, “hey, good luck with your crush on T’challa.”

Loki froze, and turned to look at her. 

“Jane,” Natasha tried. “Bruce. Come on, throw me a bone here.”

“They’re Midgardian,” Loki said cheerfully, and left. 

Nat rolled her eyes and went to text Clint. She’d never told him who had left all those dandelions in his room.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands, my marvel sideblog is genderfluid-loki, and ten year old me has a major soft spot for clint and natasha


End file.
